Are you still living life under someone else’s house rules?

Photo by Tom Barrett on Unsplash

Whose operating system of life are you running: your own, or the one you had growing up?

Many of us are unconsciously living (mentally and emotionally) as if we’re still under the roof of those who raised us. As if we’re still limited by their views, beliefs, rules, and opinions—about us as individuals, about life, and about the world in general.

Our primary caregivers in childhood most likely had lots of unhealed emotional wounds that they were unaware of. This is normal and part of our human condition. As children, we are sponges and pick up everything: other people’s habits, their current emotions, their emotional baggage, their fears, EVERYTHING.

We don’t know any better. We’re just observing and absorbing, trying to gather data to learn how to do….life.

Your upbringing was probably pretty tough. It’s not fair that you went through everything you went through. It’s not fair that you had to develop ways of being just to survive in an unpredictable environment, to survive living in someone else’s unhealed emotional “stuff”. 

You didn’t do anything wrong; you literally didn’t know any better. And this isn’t a time to blame anyone either. Everyone is always (and has always been) doing their best. Sometimes that doesn’t look that great. Still, we are all doing the best we can in any given moment even if that looks pretty shitty from an outside view.

And now you’re an adult. You get to decide what you think, feel, believe, say, and do. You’ve done lots of learning and inner work to heal those core wounds.

But have you updated your internal belief system to who you are now and what you believe/think/feel/know about yourself, the world, and your place in it?

The shadows of your primary caregivers don’t have to follow you around, unless you let them. Their ways of being and doing don’t have to be your ways of being and doing.

It doesn’t make them wrong. But their ways can be wrong for you. You get to choose. Everything. You get to choose, and you get to change your mind as many times as you want.

After all, you’re the one waking up everyday to face your self and your life.

You’re no longer limited by living under someone else’s house rules, so why would you keep living under someone else’s internal belief system about yourself and what you can do/be/have? 

If this is you, it’s ok. You’re not doing anything wrong. Now you have awareness around this, which means now you have conscious choice to make a change. 

You can always make a change in what thoughts you think, what beliefs you hold about yourself and life, and what words and phrases you choose to use—which are a reflection of your internal core belief system.

Your words are important. Your subconscious is always listening, so choose your words wisely. With your subconscious making 95% of your decisions for you, give it good stuff to work with. Then your external world will be a true reflection of what you want for your life.

You don’t have to know right this minute what to change or how to change it. The starting point can be simply deciding to find a different way. 

Change is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Schedule a Discovery Session today to find out more about Courage Coaching.

If you think you’re not ready, you’re ready.