5 Ways to Practice Self Care You Haven’t Tried
Self Care is not the same as “being lazy”.
If you’ve spent any time on Pinterest or Instagram, you’ve probably seen lists of Self Care ideas. Maybe you’ve seen a lot of the same ideas posted over and over again. This list is meant to introduce you to some new ways to practice Self Care that you haven’t seen before. Self Care is not a one size fits all kind of thing. No one has a giant master list of ways to practice Self Care because frankly, Self Care can take innumerable forms.
Here are 5 ways to practice Self Care that you haven’t heard of before.
Waiting to answer that last work email that rolled in after you’ve already logged off for the day.
Why is this an act of Self Care? Because you are setting a boundary to give yourself well-deserved time off work. Sending emails after official business hours doesn’t show that you are extra dedicated to your job; it shows that you don’t value your personal time or yourself or your loved ones. This is a symptom of a workaholic culture but you don’t have to accept it for yourself. Setting the boundary between work hours and personal hours will demonstrate to yourself and others that you value and deserve your off-time.
2. Saying no to an invitation that your heart just isn’t into.
Why is this an act of Self Care? Often we allow others to guilt or shame us into showing up to an event that we just really don’t want to go to. When you make a habit of saying yes when you want to say no, you are doing a disservice to yourself and to others. Prioritizing your needs and feelings over someone else’s is not selfish. Selfish would be saying yes to something just because you don’t want to feel bad for hurting someone’s feelings. Guess what? Someone else’s feelings are not your responsibility. Only your feelings are your responsibility. This doesn’t mean you should go out and be mean to everyone or that other people’s feelings don’t matter. It means that your feelings are just as important as everyone else’s. Since you only have control over your own feelings, you must prioritize them. When you do say yes to things, you are saying yes with your whole heart because YOU want to. That is better for other people too because then you can show up fully and be present with them, instead of complaining or wishing you were someplace else.
3. Excusing yourself from a situation that is overwhelming.
Why is this an act of Self Care? This could mean taking an extra 3 minutes in the bathroom to catch your breath and collect yourself before facing the chaos outside the bathroom door. This could mean excusing yourself for the duration of an event and rescheduling another time to continue. It could mean saying goodbye on the phone to someone who is being disrespectful. These examples illustrate that practicing Self Care is about allowing yourself the mental and physical space to “level out” whenever you need to. We all need this and at different times. It could be from your kids, your boss, your spouse in the heat of an argument, or with a client who is having a bad day and taking it out on you. Giving yourself the time and space you need in order to collect yourself is always allowed, because you are in control of You. And it is always available to you even if you can only close your eyes for 5 seconds and take one deep breath.
4. Taking a day to rest and lounge around when you feel like your body just needs some downtime.
Why is this an act of Self Care? Your body knows what it needs. It is your mind that often gets you into trouble because of all the things you “should” be doing. Your To Do list never gets any shorter no matter how long you work on it. There will always be more to do. Sometimes your body just needs you to sit down and rest. When you don’t give yourself the rest you need, you are only deferring the physical & mental maintenance that you truly need. Let’s say your car has a tire that keeps losing air. You’ve refilled it several times and it keeps getting low. You know you’re going to have to replace it soon but you just keep putting it off. One day you’re running late and bam! You get a flat tire, you’re driving through a construction zone with nowhere to pull off, and you can’t reschedule the thing you’re running late for. Wouldn’t it have been so much easier to have scheduled a trip to the mechanic on a day when you didn’t have such a tight schedule? You could have chosen the time & place of changing out that tire. But you put it off for so long that the car made that decision for you, and it wasn’t at a convenient time or place. Resting your body and mind is exactly the same. If you don’t schedule time for it, it’s going to make time and it won’t be when it’s convenient for you. Listen to your body and chill out a little bit about your To Do list. Does it really matter if you wait another day to mop the floor or change that lightbulb?
5. Don’t apologize...for enforcing your boundaries, expressing your emotions, needing alone time to rest & recharge, or for anyone else’s feelings or behaviors.
Why is this an act of Self Care? Many of us develop the habit of over apologizing. It’s probably something we picked up as a way to please others or avoid conflict. It is not necessary to apologize for having needs and emotions, or for just existing and taking up space in this world. Save the apologies for the important stuff in life, like forgetting a birthday or snapping at someone when you had a bad day at work. Get comfortable with asking for what you need and want. You have as much right to express your needs and emotions as anyone else, so step up and allow yourself that right. You will be surprised at how people respond to you. If they can meet your request, they will. If they can’t meet your request, that does not mean you aren’t worthy. It only means that particular person can’t meet that particular need at that particular time. You still deserve to be heard. You deserve to be here. Most importantly, you don’t need to apologize for asking for what you want out of life.
Self Care is a fluid concept. Self Care can look like and feel like many different things for different people. What you need will change too, so having a good understanding of what Self Care really is will be essential in understanding how to really practice it.
Want to know how Self Care is different from Self Love? Check out this article.
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